Sorry it's been so long since my last post..but that's kinda how it goes in my world. I can't stick with anything for too long, or else I feel productive : ). If I was really great at this blogging thing, then I would have started blogging about this particular "issue" (you'll know why I called it that in a few minutes) from the very beginning. However, again, productivity...not my forte.
The "issue" is pregnancy. I know all you mom's out there who wanted nothing more in life than to be a mommy are scolding me right now for calling it that, but when you really think about it even in the most happy and welcomed of pregnancies..it's an issue. You cannot convince me that three straight months of feeling sick all day, and watching your body morph into odd shapes is not an issue. Mainly because it's then followed by three short months of total baby bliss where you wake up every morning saying to yourself, "Gosh if pregnancy were this easy for nine straight months, I would stay this way for the rest of my life!" Then it immediately dives into three final months of new obstacles such as spontaneous swelling of the hands and feet, numbness and pain in your legs because your angel is laying on your spine, and fatigue like you cannot imagine. It's a roller coaster ride which becomes a nine month "issue."
So, let me break my pregnancy down for you by trimester.
1st Trimester:
"THE UH OH MOMENT." The first second you find out you are pregnant is what I like to call the "uh oh moment". EVEN IF YOU PLAN A PREGNANCY IT IS AN "UH OH MOMENT"!!! For some women it's a blessed end to a long time of peeing on ovulation sticks, and tracking your fertility. For others it's a less expected moment of a "why am I a week late, when I've been like clockwork since I was 18?" For EVERYONE..it's a moment of slight panic, mixed with fear and happiness, followed by a brief period of denial..then shortly after comes acceptance. For me, it was a mixture of all three. Now, I won't go into detail about the fifty-thousand sticks I peed on thinking maybe the first ten that came back positive could be duds, and I won't go into detail about where I was and all that jazz. Needless to say, that I DO know the three minutes you wait for those little lines to show up are the longest of your life. After three straight days of peeing on sticks ( I was thinking maybe going away and coming back later would change the result) and realizing that no matter how many DIFFERENT tests I took, and no matter how many times i took them, the result was NOT going to change, I had to sit down and have a long conversation with myself. "Okay, so we were on the five year plan and didn't even make it a year..that happens to lots of people. Okay so we are barely making it with finances and about to add another life to the picture...our parents went through much worse and survived right???" Those questions were followed by worry, "I hope everything is okay and nothing's wrong..lord knows I haven't been a saint to my body being unaware that I was harboring another life." Then followed by the greatest..happiness. "I don't have a choice, this is going to be a beautiful experience that is the start of OUR family. I wonder it it's a boy or a girl (although at that point it was a blob). What will they be like?" So the next day I called my doctor..told her "I think I'm pregnant." She asked if I took a test, i said yes, she then replied congratulations! So that confirmed it, "yes you are pregnant." Then went home and tried to think of romantic, sweet, ways I could break the news to my husband. This is what I came up with, I took him one of the sticks I peed on and set it in front of him, (I know..be still my heart right?). After hugging and sharing in his excitement, everything went right back to normal. I was shocked, "that's all?" I thought that I would feel different (other than the nausea and fatigue), but I got back into a routine. However, that was a feeling that would soon change.
(second and third trimester-so-far to come in next post!)
No comments:
Post a Comment